In a small town in rural Southern Idaho, two basketball teams prepare to battle it out on the court for conference bragging rights and supremacy. The stands are filled with nervous parents like you as you watch your children play, cheering and urging them to make a shot, grab a rebound, or get a steal. It is every parents' desire to see their offspring have success in sports and with every other endeavor that they may pursue. The sport is not played at the highest, most athletic level in Idaho, but that does not demean the support that the community provides to their local high school teams.
As with any athletic event where the stakes are high, the atmosphere is electric, exciting, and ready to erupt as soon as the first great play is made. A whistle blows and the ball is tossed into the air, signaling the beginning of the contest. As the teams go back and forth, giving everything they have, there is only one nuisance that always finds its way onto the court - the referees. Everybody hates them! It is clear that they are missing obvious fouls and making terrible calls in a clear attempt to ruin your child's team's chances of winning the game. They are even worse when your team is losing. You let them hear it, screaming at them and berating them every chance you get, all while a purple vain pops out of your forehead. You make sure that you say "Come on ref! Call it both ways!" as they run by the area where you are sitting. Don't forget to throw in a "Travel!" or "That's a foul! How could you miss that?!" whenever you get the opportunity. "Three seconds! Come on, make the call!" is also a good one to scream incessantly. If you think your child was fouled or impeded upon in anyway during the game, you really explode. "Get him off! He's pushing him all over the court! Are you blind?!" They have to be the worse refs you have ever seen in your life.
And of course, if your team loses, it is clearly the referee's fault. They were out there to make sure the victory went the other way. You let everybody around you know how unfair and terrible the referees were that night. Your wife and children hear it all the way home, including some choice language usually reserved for Martin Scorsese films. It's all you think about as you lay in bed and it finds its way to work with you the next day. You make sure all your coworkers are aware, even to the point of repeating yourself multiple times to a few of them. Eventually the atrocities of the night before work their way out of your mind as other matters require your attention and focus. That is, until a few days later when your child's team takes it to the court again and there is another pair of morons wearing stripes out there.
Never mind the fact that you have never refereed anything in your life other than an impromptu living room floor wrestling match between two of your children. Who cares if the game looks completely different from on the court than it does from in the stands? You are easily able to see fouls, travels, and all violations from your seat clear across the court a lot better than the refs can, who are right in front of everything when it happens. Even if the other team is more talented and better coached than your child's team, it's always someone else's fault. This is high school basketball, where kids play for fun, but you go ahead and treat it like the NBA finals. You go ahead and forget the fact that those two referees are people and might have children too. They aren't any different than you.
By the way, you look like this guy
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